Thanks for booking time with me to talk about improving your cofounder partnership.
I would strongly encourage you to watch the following video which details my philosophy and approach when it comes to this work.
Key Points:
- Are the bones good? You chose your cofounder for good reasons, and the stress of building a company doesn't erase the complementary skills and shared vision that brought you together.
- Startups are stressful (duh!) Stress turns your sharp problem-solving instincts inward, where they curdle into self-blame or blaming your cofounder—both of which deepen the conflict.
- You need new skills. When the problem is a fire inside the partnership, more execution won't put it out; you need a neutral outside perspective and a different set of tools.
- A proper diagnostic—group sessions, 1:1s, and assessments—reveals how serious the conflict is and where it actually lives, and most founders wait far too long to start.
- Come in with good faith and assume your cofounder is too, because you both want this company to win and you're both more likely to win if you work well together.
- Understanding come first. There's no problem-solving in a relationship without first understanding and you have to accept that more than one perspective can be true at once rather than framing it as one person right and one wrong.
- Emotions matter as much as facts. People generally aren't willing to compromise until their feelings are heard and validated.
- Conflict is physiological. Once your heart rate passes ~100 bpm you're in fight-or-flight and thinking clearly becomes nearly impossible, so cooling down has to come before any productive conversation.
- Parting ways can be a winning move. In some cases a clean separation is the best path forward—and this work will reduce the likelihood of messy legal disputes.