I recently had a conversation with therapist who was interested in findings from The Asian American Man Study because many of the people she works with come from that demographic. She observed that her clients often feel like they aren’t fairly recognized in the workplace or have a difficult time with dating but they also aren’t willing to admit that there’s something about them (their attitude, their demeanor, their appearance, or their cultural values) that might be contributing to this issue. Continue reading

One of the things I’m trying to remind myself of this year is “play to my strengths”.

Truly understanding ourselves — our tendencies, preferences, abilities, and the impression we give to others — is enormously important to leading a successful and satisfying life. We often overlook our strengths because they come easy to us. We rely on them so frequently that they almost don’t exist in our minds. We’re typically see our weakness much more often, since it’s more obvious why we struggle than why we succeed. Continue reading

The year is coming to a close and that means a couple things:

  1. You’re getting invites for holiday and year end parties
  2. Friends and coworkers are coming down with terrible colds, flus and other debilitating illnesses
  3. Your brain starts pondering how the year has gone and what next year will hold

I don’t have much advice for you around the first two issues, except, try not to eat too many gingerbread cookies, and wash your hands frequently.

But perhaps I can say something useful about the third. Continue reading

I turned 29 last month. No contest or giveaway this year, like the last few birthdays. This year we’ll keep it simple. Three simple lessons I’ve learned as I round the last lap of my twenties.

Just because it isn’t on your resume doesn’t mean it’s not real work. This includes relationships, moving cities, calling customer service, organizing around the house, and taking care of parents. It’s easy to just gloss over these things as chores and distractions if you’re an ambitious person but this is the real meat of life.

You can have it, but only if you want it really badly. There are too many books to read, cities to visit, people to meet, fields to explore, projects to start. You can’t have it all, but if something is really important to you, you’ll find a way to get it.

Energy is everything. I mean both physical and mental energy (the two are closely related). Avoid things that unnecessarily drain you and move towards the things that fill you up. If you’re well-rested, well-fed, physical active, doing meaningful work, you’re doing great. Also surrounded by people you love, and who love you? Game over. You win.

A few years ago, I started a birthday tradition on this blog, where I ask readers to respond to a question, and give away a sweet prize.

When I turned 26, I asked “What’s one thing you wish you knew when you were 26?” When I turned 27, I asked readers to tell me about an important decision they had made.

Last week I turned 28, and it’s time for a new birthday question giveaway!

One random commenter will win a hardcover or Kindle copy of Think Like a Freak, a really rad book by writer/economist duo Stephen Dubner and Steven J. Leavitt (authors of Freakonomics and SuperFreakonomics). I’m about halfway through and really loving it.

This year’s question is:

What’s something you’ve changed your perspective on as you’ve gotten older?

So to be fair, here’s my answer to the question:

As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to appreciate the need to “play the game” [1]. Continue reading