Nothing Changes Unless You Change Yourself

I recently had a conversation with therapist who was interested in findings from The Asian American Man Study because many of the people she works with come from that demographic. She observed that her clients often feel like they aren’t fairly recognized in the workplace or have a difficult time with dating but they also aren’t willing to admit that there’s something about them (their attitude, their demeanor, their appearance, or their cultural values) that might be contributing to this issue. Continue reading…

Try Something Different

I love thinking about behavior change. Specifically, how people get themselves to adopt new attitudes, habits, ways of living. Hell I even taught a Skillshare course to 150 people on the science of willpower and behavior change.

One thing I’ve realized is that it’s actually a lot easier to be shaped by external forces than by your own hand. People can and do change themselves, but it takes patience, sustained effort, and creativity. Continue reading…

Why Being Real Matters

There’s a great article on TechCrunch by Danny Crichton called Startups and The Big Lie.

Crichton, who is a former colleague back in my days at The Stanford Daily, has a great line about how startups “run on an alchemy of ignorance and amnesia that is incredibly important to experimentation” and that entrepreneurs essentially have to lie a lot of the time about how things are going. Continue reading…

Take More Naps and Other Talent-Building Ideas

Five years ago, I stood in a bookstore for about an hour and read half of a wonderful book called The Talent Code by Daniel Coyne. It had come out around the same time as a few other books in a similar vein of developing expertise and 10,000 hours etc but just grabbed me and didn’t let go.

Part of it was that Coyne went out into the field and visited “talent hotspots” that developed elite performers across many disciplines: soccer stars, violin prodigies, chess champions, etc. The stories he came back with are concrete, have a human element to them, and deeply resonate with my own experience. Continue reading…