The Power of Having a Mindset of Infinite Opportunity [guest post]

Doing Rejection Therapy has allowed me to meet all kinds of interesting people. One of them is Matt Ramos, a college student in California. He’s in the process of transforming himself from being a shy quiet guy to a fearless doer who gets after his dreams. I thought I might share his story with you here. I hope you enjoy it!

– Jason

The Power of Having a Mindset of Infinite Opportunity

By Matt Ramos

I was a huge introvert throughout my teenage years.

I was extremely timid around all people because I made assumptions as to what they were thinking about me.

Being in a shy mindset created a life where very few doors opened for me. Or even if many doors did open, I never gave myself a chance to walk through it due to the fear of being embarrassed or rejected.

The few times I did open the door only revealed humiliating experiences. I was rejected by my high school crush of two years. I didn’t fit in with anyone because I didn’t want to be another face in the crowd, which made people call me weird. I had it rough because I was the second quietest kid in the school. So people would give their sympathy to the shyest kid in the school, whereas I was simply a shadow.

So for the next couple of years, I shut myself out from the world. If the world would be that terrible, then why should I put myself out there?

After more negative experiences, I finally stumbled on the SFGate article that features Jason Shen.

I knew I had to follow the example that was given in Rejection Therapy.

Rejection Therapy Begins

In January and February of 2011, I did a daily rejection everyday. I was able to ask people if they wanted something I offered (like food), ask girls out, ask people to study with me, ask someone for a sip of her drink, and ask people to catch up with me.

For example, there was a girl in front of me in my class that intrigued me. She seemed to be interesting. Then I thought to myself, “How can I benefit her?”

When you think in terms of benefiting that person, then they are more likely to accept. Everyone would say yes to something that benefited them right?

So on the third day of class, I finally got the courage to ask her, “Hi, so what did you think of our professor?”

She told me that, “Well he doesn’t really look like a professor; he looks more like a surfer!”

Then we ended up chatting for a few more minutes after that. Before she left, I asked her if she wanted to study with me in that class. She gladly accepted.

Throughout that whole class, we ended up chatting together. We built up rapport and started making jokes with one another.

We lost touch after the class ended because she was from out of town.

However, taking that chance enabled me to get a good grade in my class and kept me from being totally bored in that class.

I’ll take a risk of rejection for those benefits any day. Instead of sitting around on my iphone and playing Angry Birds all day, I found out that talking to strangers could be more rewarding.

Create Your Own Infinite Opportunity

It’s like an once-in-a-lifetime experience except you have full control over how you can get it. You don’t have to wait around passively for opportunity to come. You can create it at any moment.

You have the power to create as many door-opening opportunities as you’d want if you change your mindset in one way.

That one way is letting go of a desired outcome and letting that outcome just happen.

If the girl rejects you, you win because you just got rejected. If she accepts your date, then you win because you just got a date. It’s a win-win situation.

If you ask someone to help you with something (study, projects, etc.), and they say no, you win because you just got rejected. If they say yes, then you’ve got the help you need. It’s a win-win situation.

When you can think of rejection as a door-opening experience rather than a feeling of inferiority or embarrassment, then you have an infinite amount of doors in front of you all the time.

Rejection can hurt but will you let that fear of being hurt take all the opportunity away from you?

It’s your right to take a chance.

The rest is up to you to actually take that chance.

If you want to start your own 30-day Rejection Therapy challenge, you can go to, ask Jason about it, or contact me.

Matt Ramos is a college student who wants to eliminate fear, create possibilities, and contribute to the world as much as possible by the age of 30. Rejection Therapy is just one of his tools to make that vision a reality. You can visit his site here at

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Jason Shen

Jason is a tech entrepreneur and advocate for Asian American men. He's written extensively and spoken all over the world about how individuals and organizations develop their competitive advantage. Follow him at @jasonshen.

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  1. Matt, this is a fascinating concept. I was shy when I was younger, and now that I’m in college I find that I’m alternating outgoing and still shy, in some situations — obviously the ones I’m not comfortable in. My dad’s one of the most outgoing people in the world, and I often stand back and marvel at him. Once I was with him at a concert, and he chatted with a security guard who was stationed in the very front section in the floor seats. He talked with her for about 30-45 minutes, and by the time the concert was about to start she’d saved a seat for him — in the 5th row! He moved up about 20 rows closer to the stage than I was. ;) All he was doing was being friendly and passing the time before the show started; he had no agenda to wheedle his way into a better seat. I often think of my dad when I’m feeling unsure of myself in social situations. Usually, I just wish I could be more like him, but thanks to this article I think I may just try DOING more like him.

  2. @annedreshfield Hey Anne. It really is. Thanks for your story about your father. There are people who are amazing at talking and I wish I could be like them but I got tired of wishing as well. Who needs to wish when you can make it a reality for yourself too? You should keep me updated how it goes for you! Just keep interacting, even a small step here or there works well.

  3. @annedreshfield That’s a great story! One thing that I noticed myself doing a lot more of during rejection therapy was talking to strangers. It made for some really cool / interesting experiences!

  4. Great post, Matt. It’s amazing how certain experiences, like rejection therapy, can open your eyes to new possibilities that you never saw before.

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