Or: How to regain confidence after you’ve lost it.
How’s it going? Alright? You don’t look alright to me.
You look like you’re going through rough times. Like you’ve had a couple setbacks and now you’re not so sure of yourself. Like maybe you’ve lost your way.
I don’t see that swagger in your walk any more. No wink and grin that says “Watch what I’m about to do.”
And of course, your results.
Your work is dull. Mediocre. You’re going through the motions – putting in the hours but not really giving it your best. You’re playing scared. You’re watching your back instead of charging ahead. You’ve lowered both the expectations you’ve set for yourself, and for how others will treat you.
You look like you’ve given up on yourself.
But guess what? Even if you’re giving up on you, I’m not.
I believe in you. I believe in what you’re capable of. I believe in what you’ve done, where you’re going and who you will grow to become.
I’ve been there man – been in the dumps because I screwed up. Everyone was counting on me and I blew it. It sucked. Hard. I know things have been hard for you. But you gotta shake that off. Don’t let the bastards get you down you know?
I know, easier said that done, right?
But there are tangible ways of getting there. Like winning some small victories.
Set some little goals for yourself. Maybe it’s going for a 10 minute walk. Or finishing two chapters of the book each week. Or it’s coding up one tiny shippable change to the codebase.
Earn little wins and start remembering what success feels like.
Take some time everyday to feed your mind.
From now on your mental diet is cutting out junk food. Like Fox News. Or any news for that matter. No more bad economy crap. No more getting into flame wars with trolls on Reddit.
Instead read about how Airbnb almost hung up the towel again and again before becoming a $1B company. See Heather Dorniden fall flat on her face in a championship 600m race only to come back and win. Or how Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison, many of them in solitary confinement before getting elected President of South Africa in their first ever multi-racial elections.
Or just order one of the many Chicken Soup for the Soul books off Amazon. Seriously! There’s a reason they’ve sold hundreds of millions of copies.
Our world is one of second chances, of comebacks and turn arounds. The more you fill yourself with the strength of others who have turned around, the sooner yours will be. Continue reading…