Winning Isn’t Normal

wow very hardcore. where did your motivation come from? the environment you grew up in? or just a willingness to "kick-ass"?

If you do what everyone does, you get what everyone gets.

That's definitely true and I certainly agree with what you're saying. Keep up the great work because this was an interesting read.

Winning is usually thought of as a relative concept but I don't think that's how you are using it. Winning as you have defined it seems to mean being passionate about something and not worrying too much about the status quo. I'm not sure what to call it but there should be a better name than winning.

I actually just finished this life science course at UCLA taught by Professor Jay Phelan from Harvard. He concluded the course on the last day with a lecture about happiness and its biology.

Happiness is a tool our genes use to induce us toward behaviors benefitting them. We imagine that achieving our goals will make us happy. In actuality, it is making progress towards them that makes us happy. What we should do is set up reasonable “to-do lists” rather than a large goal that can't be done within that day, such as "write your dissertation." If you perhaps put "Write opening statement," you'll find yourself always progressing.

So in terms of winning, I think this lesson could be an invaluable way to achieve for yourself and feel much better about it. I'm sure it would help us all win at whatever game we're in in our lives.

Jason I really liked this post. It's true that "winning", by your definition of it, isn't normal, nor are the people who do it. I know this personally because my dad is a bit odd at times, and he graduated from RPI Top of his class and his very good at his job in Engineering (though he isn't that great socially, I'm not trying to stereotype all engineers like that but it's true in his case).
However, I believe different people may have different definitions of "winning". To some people, winning may not mean doing amazing or extraordinary things. To some, it may just be getting a 1200 on the SAT. It may just be making a varsity sport team. It may be graduating from a good college in four years. It may be getting a good job that pays 55k a year. It may be having a happy marriage. It may just be being happy, period. It may be just being a good person and feeling good about who you are. Some people are satisfied with just that. I think what winning really is depends on who you are.

But what you're saying is something I've heard many times, that people who are different or abnormal, especially in high school, are the ones who end up doing amazing things in life. I find this reassuring because I'm in high school right now (senior, last year before college!) and I sometimes feel as though I'm a bit "different" from other people, like I don't belong. It can be very difficult to be "different" in high school because people there are often very judgmental or critical of anyone who isn't like them. Reading things like this helps me like myself more and feel like everything's going to get a lot better after I graduate this year. Thanks Jason!

Hey Jason,

Being Jason Shen isnu00e2u0080u0099t normal.

In the Grand Scheme of things hard work and perseverance are normal. The continuation of the human race has depended upon them for countless thousands of generations. But, being a teenager with a superior intellect and awesome athletic ability and having Mother Teresa as your role model (as you did when you were fifteen) is not normal. Making valentine cards for each and every member of your class after being rejected by most of them (as you did when you were in the third grade) isnu00e2u0080u0099t normal. Maintaining and unending pursuit to change the world isnu00e2u0080u0099t normal.

Jason, it is your open and alert mind and deep compassion for others that make you the extraordinary person that you are. I hope that rather than wins, you can see your many amazing achievements as stepping stones to total self-awareness, peace of mind, and a joyful life.

You are my hero.

Uncle Marion

Hey everyone - I just posted a vlog that adds further thoughts and ideas on this post. Please let me know what you think! http://www.jasonshen.com/2011/further-thoughts-on-winning-isnt-normal-vlog/

Just read this article in Hacker Monthly (content curated from Hacker News) and enjoyed it. It's a simple point you make, but very powerful. I'm inspired to put in more effort towards my work now.

I love that line - "My talent is being a masochist." It reminds me of Steve Prefontaine and his pride in being able to withstand more pain than anyone else.

That was my style too when I was captain of the cross country team. I have big ol soccer quads and am under 6 ft tall, so I definitely didn't have the body type to be a runner or the fastest guy on the team. The only way I could do it was through sheer stubbornness, which I'm sure isn't surprising to you after working together :)

Really great post man. I have a feeling that the same can be said for most companies and consulting, trying to force "winning" into cookie cutter strategies and benchmarks--the safe route. Too often the crazy absurd stuff never makes it to the table.

Wow I just watched the video on Patxi Usobiaga and it was absolutely amazing and inspiring.

Everybody should watch it and ask themselves if they apply the same things to their life.

Thanks again.

You're an animal! Despite what it may have cost you at the time, I think you set the bar high early for discipline and striving for greatness. You have accomplished a lot of great things in your short life, and they undoubtedly contributed to where you are now; so pat yourself on the back!

In my opinion, it is much better to go the direction you went as opposed to the opposite - focusing on friends and girlfriends early in life and trying to make up for the rest later. Besides, it's a lot easier to get a girlfriend when you're a successful, productive person!

In the end, I'm sure you've realized that the most important factor is balance. Success isn't worth much if you can't share it with the people you love. I'm glad you wrote this post, and based on the conversations it sparked in the comments, I think most would agree!

Keep striving for abnormality and excellence, my friend! You've done a great job so far.

While I applaud your achievements, I think you've unfortunately missed out on a lot of life. It is really great for you to have already reached what most people in their lifetimes wont, but to say that giving up your childhood and setting goals that are unrealistically high for humans is winning, you may have already lost. Is there really only room for the top 1% of people to win? Does that mean everyone else loses?

Maybe winning is making a best friend, or having ice cream with your girlfriend. You've chosen to live life based on a check mark system of awards and public merit instead of personal and consistently achievable goals that make you happy.

I go to the gym once in a while, make love to my girlfriend often. I volunteer once in a while, learn something new every so often. Laugh as often as I can and share conversations and meals with best friends. I consider myself much more of a "winner" than the one you describe in this post.

Now that I know what goes into being a top tier athlete, or getting a good grade on your SATs, I'd rather push my children to do something they love as long as I know they are good people. It's not all about winning.

Best

Allen Bina

awesome

Jason, great post. I hope this comment addresses some of the division between the people enthusiastically supporting your point of view and those thinking this sounds like slavish existence...

I found it interesting that you included "perhaps even get a girlfriend" amongst the list of "normal" activities because I think that is a fundamentally different sort of activity than watching tv or playing video games. Few people will look back in life and say they wished they spent more time watching tv but many will look back and wish they spent more time with friends, family, and significant others. Furthermore, having really amazing relationships is actually something that takes a lot of work and personal development.

I absolutely agree with the imperative to be unreasonably good at the things you choose to pursue...to not passively accept the path of least resistance. If anyone was going to legitimately criticize this post I would think it would be on the basis that winning does not necessarily mean dedicating the majority of your time and effort to only one activity. You might instead split your time between several priorities while still being actively committed to making the most of each. You might not become a nationally ranked athlete that way but if you could still be pretty damn good and have a great girlfriend at the same time.

Are you only winning if you are committing enough time to be the best? I am curious how you approach that question personally and to what degree you think that answer might legitimately vary for others...

I love, love, love this post, Jason. Thanks for starting my day on a very compelling note! I've tweeted about it to my followers, and encourage others to do the same! It's sad to think some believe that for anyone to win, someone else has to lose. Not one person lost anything because of your efforts. Not only, however, did you win because of them -- others have been inspired to higher achievements because of your tremendous example. Thanks...

Scott McKain
http://McKainViewpoint.com

I don't know how you consider yourself a "winner". You sound like a slave to unrealistic parents expectations.
"Winning" is a concept, a nebula word. It doesn't mean anything. I consider "winning" getting the most experience out of life. Sacrificing most of life experiences for a few minutes of egotistical glory just to say, "Look at me!" is not worth sacrificing all the other things that life has to offer. To me that is losing.
I actually feel sorry for the gold medalist standing on the podium. He/She has sacrificed their very childhood experiences for a metal trinket. Not a "winner" in my book.

I hope you dont see yourself as a winner. Because it seems like you got fucked your whole life.

I watched the TV shows, played the video games, had many girlfriends and now it feels like I'm playing catch-up.

I still do the same things, minus the TV and games.

winning isn't normal. But it's also overrated. Remember, when someone wins, many people lose.

Jason, winning isnu00e2u0080u0099t normal, but neither is extraordinary work. extraordinary behaviors make extraordinary people.

nice post, a good reminder of the work we all need to put in before the glory.

....wow! lol...

That's an excellent point you bring, but I suppose most people who do their best like that do realize the fact that they don't want to be normal like everyone else; they want to be special. Great entry, though!

Starting your homework at 11PM? What time did you go to bed? How many hours of sleep did you get?

Thanks for writing this great article about how great you are!

Great post, great reminder. After spending the majority of the last dozen years an overachiever, I was wiped out in '08 by the economic freefall and I've had to start over.
As your post suggests, the only real battle occurs between one's own ears.

Kick ass man -- you keep doing it.

Stay hustling.

Thank you very much for this amazing test man. Greetings from Brazil.

Very well said and good on you.

Great inspiring post. It's very easy for most people to fall into the general course of going to work then coming home and watching 6 hours of TV a night. Then they see a successful peer and call them "lucky" without seeing the hustle and hard work that went into winning. People easily drift towards doing what's easy and winning definitely isn't.

I think you also inspired me to buy Keith Bell's book.

but you are really ugly

Thumbs up! Great post...

Or said in other words: "The price for winning is sacrificing your 'normal' life"