And probably vice-versa too, although I’m not as qualified to say.
Some men and some women recognize this truth, others will disagree vehemently. But I believe that those people have just a lot of cultural baggage. In the end, in a primal, animalistic, and yet human way, everything men do, is for women. The three main points: Men want to show they can provide, they will provide and they are better than other men.
Men work to get money, because money impresses women – superficially some might say, but the international survey that shows that on of the top attributes that women find attractive in men is the ability to provide material benefit, and you will see that it is more than superficial. Women want, deep down, a man who can take of them, who can provide for them and their children. It is genetically built in. When a man has a lot of money, he is demonstrating he can take care of a woman.
Men are nice, because they often think niceness is how they can get girls. Or that girls deserve to be treated well, especially the very beautiful ones. Chivalry, the fairer sex, as much as feminists might say this is men trying to put women down, it is also men putting women on a pedastel. Saying they deserved to served and pleased and protected. Niceness is also a toply desired attribute by both men and women, because that means that the partner is willing to share, and work together. Niceness demonstrating willingness to provide, while money demonstrates ability.
Consider chimpanzees, one of our closest relatives. Their society operates in a male hierarchy where the dominant male gets access to all the females. You have to fight off and often kill the alpha male to become the new dominant male. This explains a lot about sports and competitions and agression in general. Why do men love to compete, why do they like to fight, to see who is the best? To show who is dominant. Because the dominant male gets the women. From baseball to rugby, from darts to a druken bar fight. Competition reveals who is dominant. Aggression shows who is dominant. And winners show that they are clearly better than the other men they beat. It proves they are worthy of women. Related to dominance is prestige.
Senators, doctors, lawyers, airplane pilots. These jobs bring in the cash, but they are also well respected, unlike drug dealers, restaurant owners, large farm owners. Guys want to have prestigious jobs, because that shows they are dominant and it shows they have power. Someone I know wants to be a neurosurgeon, because they are the most respected of surgeons and other people have to accomadate them.
Power is another way of demonstrating ability to provide. I think that’s one of the reasons why men aspire to be powerful. Some men might say they enjoy the feeling of power and respect simply for what they are. They like feeling in control and able to influence people or events. But what is this power, this influence for, if not to show women “I can make things happen for you”.
Of course, this thesis is too ambitious. Of course someone might play the violin just because they enjoy the sound. But the guy who picks up the harmonica or guitar because “chicks dig a guy who can play”, or rock stars who sleep with groupies after the shows. I’m sure there’s something to do with it.
And yes, some people really do want to help others simply because they believe its the right thing to do, but is it not also to demonstrate to a woman how sacraficing and noble they are, in hopes of gaining their respect and admiration?
And finally, sure studying quantum physics is not easy and maybe it is thrilling to finally work through that gender identity paper, but is it not also to show women “I am an intellectual, I posses something that others do not: brains. And that will help me provide for you”.
So I lied. Men don’t do everything for women. But behind many of the acts of men lie the desire for women. (Even this essay itself, is a way of me showing other women that I am smarter or more thoughtful than other men).
It is not always clear, and men themselves may not be aware of it. But evolution is powerful. And the reason why we exist as a species is because the men and women were good at sleeping with each other. Think about it.